I've known ever since we decided to pursue the International Adoption route that we would have to be strong people. I knew that adopting from China would force us to deal with race issues. That's ok. Danny and I can handle it. I totally expect ignorance from adults. That is why I think I was totally blindsided when it happened with my students not too long ago.
When my students enter the classroom in the morning, I will often have soft music playing. This particular day, I happened to have chinese lullabies playing. When the kids came in and sat down, it took them a second to realize what they were listening to. As soon as it became clear, quite a few of them started to make fun of it in a very Rosie O'Donnell like way. (Remember back a few months ago when she made the "ching-chong-ching" reference to people discussing Danny DeVito's drunk driving incident)? Yeah, some of my students pulled their eyes back and made those same sounds. I was totally dumbfounded. I know that kids say things like this all the time, but it's only because SOME IGNORANT ADULT TAUGHT THEM THAT THAT IS OK! So, needless to say, I was very upset. I couldn't even speak. We then went out to P.E. and I had another teacher take my class so I could get myself together. I believe another reason I was so sad is because I know Danny and I will have to deal with this from time to time. Probably more often then I even think.
I went back to my classroom to call Danny to vent. He told me, "Ya know, Shannon, this happened for a reason. You can use this to teach your students an important lesson." When the kids came back in the classroom, I asked them if they knew why I was sad. They knew. We all then had a forty-five minute discussion totally led by them. Children have questions. They LIKE to talk about this stuff. We talked about how families are different and they don't always look the same.
It actually turned out pretty great. So with all of that being said, I'm ready. Bring it on!
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6 comments:
Hi Shannon,
I am so glad that you sent my family the Christmas card. (I hope you got the one I sent you). Anyways, I read your blog all the time, and I think it is exciting to listen to you go through all of this. It is so much like you are going through a pregnancy. You have all the excitement waiting for the little one to arrive, the anticipation of the arrival date, the concerns and worries, and all the love. You luck out and don't get the stretch marks, the weight gain, or the big bottom that never seems to go away. Unfortunately your pregnancy (so to speak) lasts a lot longer. The end result is all the same and so worth every bit of it. I hope you get your little girl soon. There is one story that I heard that I wanted to pass on to you, especially after reading today's blog. Your little girl can use this explanation someday. There was a little girl either kindergarten or first grade, and like kids do in school at that age is talk about their family (as you have already said) anyways, this little girl had said that she was adopted and the other kids didn't know what that meant, so they asked. She then replied that adopted just means that she grew in her mommy's heart instead of in her stomach. That to me is so powerful and explains everything so simple.
I was surprised to hear that your parents moved to South Carolina. What are they doing there and how are they? Please tell them I said hello. Thank you for sharing this with me. Email me some time and we can catch up on lost time. Take care and I hope that you get your little girl soon. Jennifer
Unfortunately we will have to deal with these kinda of things and not-so-nice comments from time to time. I'm trying to get my self prepared for it, but until it happens, I guess there's not much to do. I think it's great that you talked to your class and allowed them to open up.
Lisa
LID 11/21/05
Hi! Strangely I decided to google my daughter's name and I found your blog. I hope you don't mind my message, but I'm a little shocked to find another little girl with the same name, let alone spelled the same!! I haven't read all your blog so I don't know the status of your adoption, but I wish you the best with your new family!
Sharon
Landree's Mommy,
Email me at brassie559@yahoo.com. I'm dying to hear how you came up with her name!
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